Doris and Bob Moody, of Gulfport, Mississippi, have been married for 73 years. They believe they have the answer — pancakes. Doris says Bob loves pancakes for breakfast so that’s what she cooks every morning. But underlying the menu choice, lies something more — the first key to making love last.

1. Make someone happy.

Contemporary poet James Dillett Freeman, wrote a poem called, “Blessing for a Marriage.” In the poem, he offers a prescription for lasting love. One of his suggestions has been repeated by most spiritual teachers through the ages. “May you have happiness, and may you find it making one/ another happy./ May you have love, and may you find it loving one another.” Whatever you give out you get back. It is the law of circulation, of karma, the golden rule. “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.” Make someone else happy, offer unconditional love to another person, and the circular energy of love will be set in motion.

2. Become the person you are searching for.

The second key from Dillett’s poem is to grow into your own power as a strong, happy, loving person, instead of expecting someone else to “make” you happy. He writes, “May you always need one another — not so much to fill your emptiness as to help you to know your fullness.” Two emotionally wounded people, coming together, does not constitute one whole person. Love is not a mathematical equation where one half and one half equals one. When we are wounded, we act guarded, protective and afraid of being hurt again. Openness, vulnerability and trust are necessary elements in a healthy relationship. Working on ourselves reaps more rewards than trying to find someone to heal us. Once healed, we are able to commit our hearts and minds to another.

3. Release control. 

Janet Bray Atwood, author of “The Passion Test“, says that we must be willing to release control of those we love. We all have the desire to be validated, loved and supported, without conditions. Yet often we put conditions on someone else. “If only you did... “ or, “If only you didn’t... “ What we are saying is, “If you could think like me, do what I do, act like me, you would be a better person.” Sometimes our feelings are only opinions, based on personal views of the world. Even though a loved one may make different choices, it doesn’t make them wrong, provided they are not harming themselves or someone else. Janet advises to think of your partner first, as in, “I want for you what I want for me,” the title of her upcoming series with Mentors Channel.

She says “I know every step you take in life will help you learn what you need to be or become to fulfill your life’s purpose.” Notice how you feel when someone says, “This isn’t my way, but I know it’s what you want, so I support you.” Allow your loved ones to be who they are, to walk their unique path and simply accept. Give them what you would want to give yourself. In this way, love will continue to grow stronger each day.


Written by Dr. Marcia Hootman

What are the keys to lasting love?

1. Turns out it's your "ring finger" for a reason. Engagement and wedding rings are worn on the fourth finger of the left hand because it was once thought that a vein in that finger led directly to the heart.

2. Queen Victoria is credited with starting the Western world's white wedding dress trend in 1840 — before then, brides simply wore their best dress. 

3. The tradition of a bride wearing "something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue," comes from an Old English rhyme. Something old represents continuity; something new offers optimism for the future; something borrowed symbolizes borrowed happiness; something blue stands for purity, love, and fidelity. 

4. The tradition of a wedding cake comes from ancient Rome, where guests broke a loaf of bread over the bride's head for fertility's sake.

5.  Ever wondered where the phrase "tying the knot" came from? In many cultures around the world — including Celtic, Hindu and Egyptian weddings — the hands of the bride and groom are literally tied together to demonstrate the couple's commitment to each other and their new bond. 

6. Honeymoons weren't always so luxurious. Ancient Norse bridal couples went into hiding after the wedding, and a family member would bring them a cup of honey wine for 30 days — or one moon — which is how the term "honeymoon" originated.

7. Swedish brides put a silver coin from her father – and a gold coin from her mother – in each shoe to make sure that she’ll always have enough silver and gold in her new life.

8. In the Finnish tradition, brides went door-to-door, collecting gifts in a pillowcase, while accompanied by an older married man, a symbol of long marriage.

9. Stag parties were first celebrated by ancient Spartan soldiers. They said a final goodbye to their bachelor days with a raucous party.

 10. Kate and William's wedding will cost an estimated $34 million. It will be perhaps the third most expensive wedding in history. Diana and Charles take the cake with a wedding costing $110 million when adjusted for inflation. Vanisha Mittal and Amit Bhatia come in third after paying an inflation-adjusted $66 million

11. The Most Expensive Engagement Ring in the World is the Blue Diamond Ring by Bvlgari which was sold in April 2013 for $9.49 million.

12. A collaboration between designer Renee Strauss and master jeweler Martin Katz led to the creation of the Diamond Wedding Gown, the most expensive wedding dress in the world today. Made in 2006, the beautiful dress is fashioned from the finest fabrics and features 150 carats of diamonds.

13. The world's oldest married couple, with a combined age of 213 years, are celebrating their 90th wedding anniversary. Karam Chand, 110, and his wife Kartari Chand, 103, from Bradford, West Yorkshire will have a lot to reminisce about over a celebratory slice of cake.

14. Created by Cake, a bakery in Chester, England, the world’s most expensive wedding cake is valued at a whopping $52.7 million! The edible masterpiece was on display at the National Gay Wedding Show in Liverpool in March of 2013. The cake consisted of eight tiers of white fondant icing. Then, to add a little sparkle, the cake was adorned with 4,000 diamonds. The sparkling gems were given by Russell and Case of Liverpool, England. After the event concluded the guests of the National Gay Wedding Show were able to eat the sparking masterpiece.

15. Don't be afraid of rain on your wedding day. A wet knot is harder to untie. 

interesting facts about weddings 

1. The Wedding Singer (1998)

This 80s inspired flick about a wedding singer, who falls in love with an event waitress, was the original Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore rom-com. ET was on the set with the two stars back in 1998 where Barrymore gushed about her co-star. "I love it," she said. "I get to come to work everyday with Adam Sandler and laugh my head off." 

2. My Best Friend's Wedding (1998)

Before Runaway Bride, Julia Roberts was making a mad dash for Dermot Mulroney in My Best Friend's Wedding. Roberts earned a Golden Globe nomination as Julianne Potter, a woman who realizes she's in love with her longtime friend (Mulroney), just as he's about to marry another woman (Cameron Diaz). Oh, and she's the maid of honor. Awkwardddddd. 

3. Bridesmaids (2012)

Considered one of the best R-rated comedies in the last decade, this female-driven laugh fest starred Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, Rose Byrne, Melissa McCarthy, Ellie Kemper and Wendi McLendon-Covey as the best (worst?) bridal party. The film earned an two Oscar nominations, Best Original Screenplay for Wiig and Annie Mumolo and Best Supporting Actress for McCarthy. 

4. Wedding Crashers (2005)

When it comes to mastering the art of crashing a wedding, look no further than Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn. Before there was Ted, 22 Jump Street and The Hangover, this 2005 comedy held the record for the highest opening for an R-rated film. A huge box-office and critical success, the film also served up hilarious breakthrough performances from Isla Fisher and Bradley Cooper. 

5. My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002)
 
This wedding romp, based on Nia Vardalos' one-woman play about a young Greek woman's efforts to make her family accept her non-Greek boyfriend, was one of the biggest surprise hits in movie history. Not only did Vardalos score an Oscar nomination for her witty screenplay, but the film still stands as the highest grossing wedding flick of all time. 

6. Father Of The Bride (1991)

With his oldest daughter's wedding approaching, a father finds himself reluctant to let go.

awesome wedding movies to watch before your wedding